Your Personal Growth Report Card: Turn your D’s into A’s!
Whether you set out to improve your health, try a new exercise plan or advance your career, each step along the way is an accomplishment (consider that an A on your personal growth report card). Reaching your goal is an ongoing journey, one with both triumphs and challenges. By understanding these three commonly encountered pitfalls, you will be more prepared and likely to succeed.
It isn’t uncommon to find ourselves discouraged from time to time. We put ourselves down, withdraw from others and accept the inner voice telling us we were never going to reach our goal in the first place.
Psychotherapist, life coach and writer, Anne Davin, Ph.D., has explored the common roadblocks experienced when seeking personal growth. Known as the “three D’s,” Davin explains how the ideas of disapproval, devastation and disenfranchisement can transform the way one sees themselves and their potential for growth.
The First D: Disapproval
As Davin explains, many people fall into the “too” syndrome: I’m too big, too small, too quiet, too disorganized, etc. We label ourselves with self-imposed restrictions; we hold ourselves back before even starting. When working toward a weight-loss goal, this disapproving voice comes up to tell us we’re too weak to continue. It becomes an easy-yet-harmful excuse to simply stop.
Davin advises shifting our inner script and speaking with an approving voice, first toward ourselves and then towards others. The two changes in attitude will feed off one another, eventually quieting and disproving these negative passing thoughts.
Society’s standards make this way of thinking even more difficult to ignore. But you can treat any negative messaging from the media similar to your own self-deprecating thoughts; recognize when the message of “not being enough” is present, acknowledge that it is not true, and then let it go. Eventually, this process will become clearer and easier with practice.
The Second D: Devastation
Often referred to as learned helplessness, Davin explains that devastation is the “belief and experience” that past events are holding us in place. We feel powerless, overwhelmed and perplexed.
Breaking free of this mindset is not simple. These beliefs can become so ingrained in our thinking that they become patterns. And at first, we may not even notice they’re present. But by becoming aware of that internal dialogue when feeling discouraged towards our goals and dreams, we can prevent these thoughts from holding us captive.
By recognizing nature’s cycles of death and rebirth around us, Davin encourages those who feel trapped in devastation to tap into the organic cycle of all things. Life constantly proves that growth occurs after times of scarcity, and we too can prevail through past pains by focusing on growth. “Get into agreement that you are not in control, let whatever losses you have suffered pass through you like a spiritual winter, and then look for signs of your spring.”
The Third D: Disenfranchisement
Have you ever felt like you don’t belong? Even as we succeed in changing our physical image and mental patterns, we may still feel like an outsider. Those around us that inspire, are enthusiastic and exude confidence may result in us feeling intimidated and disenfranchised.
“The attitude to cultivate and practice instead is acceptance and receiving”, says Davin. “Take the position that the people, places, and things around you are lining up as your companions in this journey called life. Your belonging starts with your willingness to open and receive the love that is available to you this very second.”
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The path of personal growth is never straight or even. We invite you to use Davin’s approach and all the support from The Hollywood Diet team to combat negative messaging along the way, reach your goals and cultivate the inner wholeness you deserve.